Since the early days of mankind, when it became evident that in order to preserve delicious meats for later consumption they would need to use salt and smoke, bacon has been our decadent friend. Never has man formed a bond with his food like we have with bacon. There is something almost…magical…in the way it hypnotizes us with it’s pop and crackle during the time it takes to become crispy perfection in the skillet. If your stomach didn’t just tighten up and growl as you imagined the savory smell of cooking bacon, then you should probably read no further. This article is not for you. These words were written as an ode to bacon, for bacon lovers by a bacon lover.
I’m not talking about Canadian bacon or Italian pancetta. I’m talking about 100% American, streaky with fat, pork belly, salt-cured and smoked BACON. Everything else is a lame experiment by Europeans as they tried to find the perfect recipe for the preparation of bacon. They failed horribly. Have you tried Canadian bacon? Why not just eat ham? Not that there’s anything wrong with ham…it’s just not bacon. It took American ingenuity to create something as beautiful as bacon, and we’ve been perfecting it for the last 233 years. Bacon is a perfect example for why the United States rules the world. We have nukes and bacon, and we’re not afraid to use either in ridiculous amounts.
People get nervous around bacon lovers. We don’t pretend to be anything we’re not. We love bacon, and we tell everyone who will listen about the newest recipes we’ve tried. We constantly try to convert vegans and other nonbelievers by subtly frying bacon in their smell-range. We search the Internet for the most outlandish bacon-inspired ideas.. Unless you are a bacon lover, you just won’t understand the way we think or the joy we get from this superb pork product.
If you’ve been living in a box, shut off from the rest of the world, then I could understand how you wouldn’t know how deeply bacon has infused its bacony flavor into the world of Internet and Pop Culture. This is the Age of the Bacon Lover, and I’m proud to be living in it. People have been using the Internet for years now to form close-knit online communities around the things they love, and it has only been fairly recently that bacon has amassed quite a large following of bacon fanatics. We’ve seen the rise of bacon culture through the advent of new techniques of baconizing popular dishes. The now-popular “BBQ Addicts” blog documented a new recipe called the “Bacon Explosion”, that many are touting as the “ultimate” in bacon indulgence. I think we, as bacon lovers, can do even better in the future.
This website is a step in that direction. Why limit our pleasure in bacon to just food? We should be showing everyone that we support our passion in all aspects of our life. Even now, bacon has infiltrated the world of cuisine, pop culture, and now even fashion! Joining the ranks of the infamous bacon bra and baconaise, we are proud to bring you BACON WRAPPED TEES! Of course, the Bacon t-shirts aren’t actually wrapped in bacon, but they smell vaguely of it since we’re constantly frying and eating it around here. Bacon based humor on 100%, all-natural, 6.1 cotton…what more could you ask of your bacon t-shirt than this?
So, rejoice in your Freedom of Culinary Perfection! Embrace the Porky Perfection of Bacon! Delve into Succulent Swine for every meal, and not just breakfast! Be a Sowbelly Savior to the vegetarians and vegans in your life, and convert them with the irresistible allure of bacon, my friends! This is our time! This is our moment to EAT PIG AND REJOICE! So let it be written, so let it be done.
