Are you made of stone? Were you born with some rare disorder that prevents you from laughing? Are you a Catholic priest? If you answered “no” to all of these questions, then you are not immune to the charming spell that comedy tee shirts cast on us all. Some people are a harder nut to crack then others, but I took it upon myself to find a humorous shirt that even the most stoic individuals can’t help but laugh at.
The first person I picked for Project: Awesomely Funny T-Shirts Ambush Surprise was one of the toughest, though I honestly picked her because I thought being a blood relation might help me get a pity laugh from her. Instead, I could sense that she resented me for being born in a generation that had a chance to be happy…namely, anytime that isn’t the Great Depression.
I thought pure silliness might be the trick, so I picked a shirt that had a donkey on it saying “Who Farted?” This wasn’t my proudest moment, but I felt it might do the trick. When I knocked on her door, she opened it and stared up at me from the seat of her hover-round scooter. I asked her to look at my shirt and she just stared at it for a long time with this twisted look on her face. She grumbled something at me and shut the door. I thought I had failed completely, until I later realized that this was what my grandmother looked like when she was laughing at funny tees. The Great Depression left some deep scars, man.
My next victim was a hard choice. I was either going to go after a hard-line Republican gun owner, or a local preacher who I had heard secretly supports the Westboro Baptist Church. Since I didn’t want to risk getting burned at a stake, I decided to go after the Republican. I chose very carefully from several online sources, but finally settled on some great funny t shirts that I thought might do the trick.
I knew this guy because he was the father of my ex-girlfriend, so he already hated me. I knew this was going to be a huge challenge, especially since part of my experiment demanded that I simply knock on the door and say, “Look at my shirt.” I had bought a few funny tee shirts just for this occasion, because I was having trouble making up my mind. I picked out a shirt that had a picture of a donkey that says, “Who Farted?” Comedy gold, my friends.
I now know that crazy shirts have the ability to make anyone laugh. I know this because I knocked on the door, and this gruff monster of a former marine opened it and politely asked, “What the hell do you want?” I asked him to look at my shirt, just as planned. He looked and laughed harder than anyone I have ever seen in my life. Apparently, fart jokes are the best call when cracking hard exteriors.